I was once told that the politically correct way of referring to a person with a hearing loss is to say they are “hard of hearing.” To say that a person is “hearing impaired,” however, was interpreted as derogatory. I really don’t even remember who first told me that, but it’s something I have heard numerous times over the years and I’ve always been somewhat puzzled by it.
As a hard of hearing person myself, I can’t say that I’m bothered when people refer to me as hearing impaired. Hard of hearing, hearing impaired, and even deaf all are accurate definitions of my hearing loss, in my opinion.
When I take my hearing aids out, I am pretty much deaf. The world becomes silent. I can’t hear voices, the telephone, or the vacuum. I can hear the dog bark if he’s in the same room with me, and an occasional loud thump, but that’s about it.
With my hearing aids on, I can hear voices and follow conversation so long as I can see the faces of the people conversing (I rely on reading lips to an extent). I can hear the telephone ring and the clicking of a keyboard. Sometimes I can even hear my cat meow. But I don’t hear these sounds the way normal hearing people do. Hearing aids don’t correct a hearing loss the way that glasses or contacts correct vision. So even with my hearing aids on I am still hard of hearing or hearing impaired.
I believe that some people feel the label “impaired” implies that something is wrong or abnormal with a person. Well, the truth is that something IS wrong with me. I can’t hear very well. My ears don’t work properly. However, I strongly feel that any kind of disability or impairment does NOT make anyone any less of a person. And I believe that disabled/impaired people should have equal access to the same things “normal” people have access to.
So call me hard of hearing, hearing impaired or deaf. I’m completely comfortable with any of those labels and I feel they are all appropriate descriptions of who I am. 
Friday night, I was hard at work in my kitchen, preparing a dish of lasagna to serve over the weekend. While I stood at the stove gently stirring a pan of simmering sauce, a family member came up behind me and tapped my shoulder. I jumped - startled - and a spoonful of lasagna sauce flew through the air in multiple directions, splattering the stove top and the polar white kitchen walls.
Last I had noticed, this person had parked himself in the living room in front of the TV and was deeply engrossed in the news. He scared me, because I never heard him come into the kitchen.
Approaching a hard of hearing person from behind without startling them can be a tricky task! I thought I would share a few helpful tips I have on how NOT to startle a hard of hearing person:
- If you need to approach from behind, try to walk a little heavier than you normally do without actually stomping. Many hard of hearing people are very sensitive to vibrations and movement.
- Depending on the hard of hearing person’s degree of hearing loss, it may help to make a bit of noise as you approach. Try clearing your throat, tapping your toes, or rustling papers.
- If at all possible, try to approach from the side so they can catch your movement in the corner of their eye. Waving or gesturing to get their attention is perfectly acceptable.
- Don’t touch hard of hearing people or speak to them until you’re certain they have seen you and are aware of your presence.
Hard of hearing people will certainly appreciate the efforts you make to get their attention so they won’t be startled when you approach. I know I will!
By the way, the lasagna was a hit. But those white walls…they’ve got to go. It looks like I’ll be busy painting this summer.
Some years ago, I came across this fictional story of a deaf frog and found it inspiring. I’ve discovered that what this story illustrates has been true in my own life. There are situations when it is actually an advantage not to hear, whether physically or mentally, and this story touches on one of them. Enjoy…and be inspired!
The Frog Story
Author Unknown
A group of frogs were hopping contentedly through the woods, going about their froggy business, when two of them fell into a deep pit. The other frogs gathered around the pit to see what could be done to help their companions. When they saw how deep the pit was, the rest of the dismayed group agreed that it was hopeless and told the two unfortunate frogs in the pit that they should prepare themselves for their fate, because they were as good as dead.
Unwilling to accept this terrible fate, the two frogs tried with all of their might to jump out of the pit. The other frogs shouted into the pit that it was hopeless, and that they wouldn’t be in that situation if they had been more careful, more obedient to the froggy rules, and more responsible. They continued shouting that they should save their energy and give up, since they were already as good as dead.
But the two frogs continued jumping as hard as they could and became quite weary. Finally, one of the frogs took heed to the calls of his fellows. Spent and disheartened, he quietly resolved himself to his fate, lay down at the bottom of the pit, and died as the others looked on in helpless grief.
The other frog continued to jump with every ounce of energy he had, although his body was wracked with pain and he was completely exhausted. Once again, the crowd of frogs started yelling for him to accept his fate, stop the pain and just die. The weary frog jumped harder and harder and—wonder of wonders—finally leapt so high that he sprang from the pit. Amazed, the other frogs celebrated his miraculous freedom and then, gathering around him asked, “Why did you continue jumping when we told you it was impossible?”
Reading their lips, the astonished frog explained to them that he was deaf, and that when he saw their gestures and shouting, he thought they were cheering him on. What he had perceived as encouragement inspired him to try harder and to succeed against all odds.
The moral of the story: Turn a deaf ear to people who discourage you. With hard work and a positive attitude, you can do almost anything you set your mind to and overcome any situation, no matter how hopeless it may seem. You CAN do it!
